Well it has been another really frustrating and tough week, but along with that came some pretty good laughs. So in this email I will stray away from the frustrations of missionary work and focus on the instances that got me to laugh so hard I was crying and couldn't talk.
So first off.... we were trying to look for some less actives, and we saw a name on the list in the area that we were at. Her name was Laura Christo. So we went to find her house and it turns out that she lives in an assisted living facility...... but that's not the only thing it was...I'll get to that. So we go in, and the first thing I did was help an old lady escape. Haha. But not really.... But we walked in the doors and there is a woman there in her wheelchair and she asked for a push over the hump, so my comps opened the door and I pushed her over the hump and outside. So I think was probably an accomplice in her escape. Oh well...So we get through the doors and there are like 12 old people looking like they are literally ready to kick the bucket just sitting there in their wheelchairs. It was pretty creepy. And one of the old women says..."hey it's the 3 muskateers!" Haha, that was funny. So we find Laura's room, its on the second floor, and we take the elevator up, and the doors open and there is 12 more old people just chillin in their wheelchairs. But this is the handicap old folks floor. Ha, so we go to Laura's door and knock on it and someone answered and said they were just putting Laura in bed and would be out in a minute. So from the door across the hall wheels out on her wheelchair Doloris Clark. Funniest, meaniest, craziest woman. She made me laugh so hard I was crying. She says "Hey what are you doing?" I said we are here to visit Laura, then she says "What?" And I said we are visiting our friend Laura, then she says... "I don't know." And rolls away, then comes rolling back and we have the exact same conversation. And then she says, "Well I don't want you in my room," and I said ok we won't come in there, and she "Goes good cause this is my room with my stuff," and rolls in and shuts the door.
Then we get in to visit Laura and she has a major disability, can't move her body or talk, so we were there for like 3 mintues, said a prayer and left. And there is Doloris. Asking us what we were doing. But this time she has a list in her hands, and she is asking us questions about what car we drive and if we had a El Camino, we think it was her escape list. She had a gps tracker on her ankle, so we think she has tried to escape before. So anyways, we run into Orville who tells us he used to date Laura, weird. Then there it was.... we saw it..... the 90 year old boob. A woman just sitting there with her shirt unbuttoned. Ew. Then we left.
Second funny story:
Jamie is a less active member and she is always drunk! Always. But the past 3 weeks she was sober, and it has been great. So we went to visit her and her and her friend are there just totally wasted. We walked in and her drunk friend gives us hugs.... weird and creepy. And we go in to sit down and Elder Warby sits on this couch, and the drunk woman's dog was hogging the other part of the couch, so me and Elder Butler sat on a different couch. And this woman sat down next to Elder Warby.
So these 2 woman are like your typical drunk women. Can't stand up straight or walk for the life of them. So we start reading the Book of Mormon and Jamie is like, why are they in the wilderness and her friend is like you guys are so great, and just making the most ridiculous funny comments. And I start laughing, and I cover my face with the Book of Mormon so that they can't see, then Elder Butler starts laughing, and we are laughing so hard we're crying. And it's my turn to read and I can't do it, I get through like 4 words and manage to squeak out in between giggles, "Elder Warby can you read please?" I just couldn't do it cause I couldn't stop laughing. Then Jamie is like I don't even know where we are, and Elder Warby starts laughing and he is like me. It was hilarious! I have never laughed so hard. SO then this woman is like showing us her nasty stomach and is wearing short shorts that are like falling off of her, and we got out of there because it was just ridiculous, but we didn't leave without another long hug and awkward hand shake. Wow, it was... unexplainable how funny that was.
ALright, next story-
Yesterday in sacrament meeting a guy gave a talk, where in it he said he was picturing everyone in there underwear, then he said he has lost so much weight he was worried his pants would fall down and he would moon the stake president (who was on the stand) and the bishopric. It was weird. This ward is weird. My best friend in the ward is 45 his name is Brad. He has down syndrome. Funniest guy ever. And there is another kid name TJ who also has down syndrome and they were going at it in priesthood yesterday. Brad is hilarious. And in priesthood excercises a guy told everyone that he saw one of the 3 nephites. That was weird. So lots of funny crazy thing happened this week.
But good things.... We took Joe and his memeber wife Jessica to the trail center this week and to see the Reflections of Christ pictures. It was awesome. Jessica wants him to get married so bad so that they can go to the temple together. We invited him to be baptized and he is praying about it.
Well that is it I am running short on time. But I love you all!!!! Hope everything goes well this week and at camp with the girls!!!
Love,
Elder Moore
And I'm way excited for Justin!!! He is such a stud!!!
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